Thinking of you again..

I suddenly thought of what you've gone through when you were hospitalized. 

Trying your best to stay strong even though it's hurting inside. 

I still can't forget that look you had when you told me it's cold when you wore that oxygen mask. It is indeed put to the strongest because your oxygen level was low. I was so helpless looking at you and to have to leave you in that situation because visiting time was over. That was your very last words. Ever since, you were given anesthetic to rest your brain and... you never wake.

I remember there were one time, it was my turn to take care of you thoughout the night. I cried quietly. You were having difficulty to pass motion. I couldn't help at all. It was so difficult for you to sleep.Your mind wasn't resting. I just feel so hopeless. The next morning, not sure why, you suddenly shiver strongly. Nurses gave you double blanket, but you still feel cold. I wish at that moment I could understand how to make you feel better. 

There was once when you were able to discharge and were back home. I stayed with you at the living room because you have difficulty to go upstairs and I wanted to take care of you. That night, you barely made it to pass motion. I cleaned up after that. You apologize to me because you said you given me hard time. Honestly, I don't feel it's hard time at all. I was glad I could be your help.

 It hurts me more that I don't know what to do to make you feel better and I don't understand how you really feel. I wished I could exchange with you. Take your place instead. So you don't have to go through the pain. It hurts me that you apologize to me. I'm not even close to what you have done for me. 

If only you can still hear me now, I want to express my love and gratitude to you. I want to ask for your forgiveness for the times I did not listen to you. I'm sorry mom and I love you so much.

Nervous

I'm still having this backache off and on. I thought I was already getting better because at times I really don't feel it! Now it starting to get hurt on my thighs. It feels as though i pulled my hamstring. I need to rest more. 

I've tried sitting up straight don't hunch but the more I tried, my back got stiffer. 

I hope it gets better before the long awaited holiday.. 

I think I'm growing tail.

An unexplained ache on my lower spine. Not sure what had happened. As far as I know, I didnt lift anything heavy for the past 2 weeks. But yet, the pain has got more serious over the days.

It started off with mild pain that goes off and on. It can easily ease off just by resting. 

Now, I can feel it even more frequent. I can identify the whereabouts of the pain. It is at the lower back. Sometimes it hurts way down to my thighs. Lately that is. It hurts when I'm about to sit down, stand up after sitting down for some time, walking, going up stairs, getting off from car, laughing too hard, repositioning myself, about to lie down, and all that requires movement. 

I have seen doctor. He said it is nothing alarming at the moment. He gave me a muscle reliever tablet. I hope it would be gone when I leave for my vacation. Nothing is bad than having discomfort during a long awaited trip. 

I guess the massage from my dear Jon does help a bit in addition to the heat plaster I had put on. Thanks, love ^^

18032015 marks the day

So it's finally the say of my last day at work. I admit I was quite a bit of a workaholic. Although I was out with the girls after work, somehow throughout the night, I feel as though I have something on the next day. 

Today was awesome. 

I feel so much love from my colleagues! Many turned up on my last lunch also known as my farewell lunch. Although I may not have spoke to some of them much during my employment here, I really appreciate them for attending the lunch. It meant something to me. 

Gotta thank my manager for coordinating the farewell lunch. He made the booking at the restaurant beforehand to ensure it can accomodate all 16 of us. It was a big group!

        

During the lunch, Priya, our senior QA mentioned that I was always so joyful and she always see me smiling. It seems as though I have no stress. Haha. Little did she know how I look like when I'm back to my workstation. I've heard comments from my" neighbour" at my workstation that I have always been scrunching my eyebrows when I was working. I does that unknowingly. 

Thanks guys for the treat!

This was the best photos I got that have almost everyone in. From the front left, David, KK, dai lou, me, YC, Sabrina, Priya. From the front right, HJ, CK, Firdaus, Adibah, Edwin, NK, Najmi and. Azri. 

I should have brought the monopod along. Hehe. 

Also, thanks dai lou for the coffee treat! 

         

Back in office, I waited to have a photo with kakak before she left for home. 

   

I wouldn't forget her as she has been more than just a coffee lady to me. She is the closest to me in the office. We shared  gossips and some of our personal matters. She was literally kakak (elder sister) to me as she advises me a lot and gave me an indirect strength at times to work. As expected, she was affected a lot from the news that I have resigned. She kept her promise that she would cook for me on my last day. 

       

She made me nasi lemak with this chilli chicken. 

YUMM!!

I continued to backup my files and waited for teabreak. My last teabreak in the company. I was happy that it was a full attendance of my usual teabreak kaki. 

We played with the monopod. 

With tiny Firdaus, Najmi and Azri at the background.

Then comes the grand finale where we gathered at the receptionist for a group photo. 

The group photo wasn't the end! After that I was surprised by a sweet gift card by them! 

Hand over by the rep, YC. HAHAHA. It looks like I'm receiving some kind of award. They just have to make it look so formal. 

       

It's a card signed by them! 😭

---the photo is upside down---

I'm so touched! Since when they did this? Whose idea is this? It was awesomely-wonderful-touching-yet-sweet to receive this gift. THANK YOU GUYS! You guys made me have a "heavy heart" to leave Syn. It was great knowing all of you. 

We took some selfies..

What's with HJ's face anyway! hahaha. 

Thank you all for the company through my first phase of my career life. You guys were not only colleagues to me, but as a friend as well. I hope we do keep in touch! 

Annual dinner...

Last Friday I was Jon's guest to his company annual dinner.

His company dinner have always been posh. How I wish my company has annual dinner also. So far I've only been to one dinner. That was also because it was 10 years anniversary. 

Anyway, the theme was fantasy and so many dressed up as witch especially Maleficient and Queen Elsa. Of course, there's other characters as well such as Goku, mermaid, even Avatar and etc. There's just so many of them. 

I didn't dress up.

I changed after work and rush to the dinner location. 

This photos were taken after party though. 

Regardless, it was a nice experience to me. One day, I'll be able to attend not as a guest ^^ I hope. 

LCD TV cracked.. help?

Anyone know what is the root cause for LCD TV screen to crack like this? How do I fix this. I don't know what keyword to look for in Google.
It looked cute at first with tiny leave shaped.

I actually thought it was just dirt from the camera of the drama I was watching. Then I realize, it's still there even when I switch channel.

I thought it was okay to leave it there. It doesn't takes up my space much.

Then we realize it was growing bigger. It was no longer cute anymore. It turned into monster!

This morning, it was as big as my knuckle!

Help! T_T

Randomly thought of you.

I had dinner at Kenny Roger's yesterday and I was reminded of you.

You used to bring me to places to shopping and we would end up having lunch at Kenny Roger's.
I remember that you always can't finish up your meal but yet every time you would still order the quarter meal with 3 sides. You used to share with me but when I grew up, I ordered one my own and helped you with yours.

The last time I had Kenny Rogers with you was at The Mall, or maybe it has been renamed as Putra Mall after their major renovation? We did not order quarter meal that day. In fact, we ordered tidbits since we were not that hungry. Not sure why you always suggests for Kenny Roger's but if it is what you like, I'm on for it. At least you eat :)

You would always get the vanilla muffin and I would order the Chocolate one. I still feel that the Chocolate one tasted better than vanilla. Do you know now they had come up with more flavours? But I bet you're still going for vanilla unless I ordered and make you try it. Guess I wouldn't have the chance now already.

CNY 2015

Hey Ho!~

Happy CNY again. This year around we brought extra pax back to Penang to celebrate CNY with us! Not my little niece Natalia as expected, but we brought my brother's adopted daughter along!

This was the very first time she followed us to Penang and it was also a very last minute decision. Despite there might be language barrier, she actually did pretty well with my cousin-niece!

Alright, 2 days before CNY, my brother got back to KL with his family to celebrate CNY with us. Halfway through, I learnt that his car (which used to be my dad's) air con pulley came off on the highway! Of course he didn't pick them up. So they traveled back to KL without air con. Poor them and baby Natalia was sweating the whole way through! My brother had that air con serviced back in JB before he got back.

They fixed the air con issue the day after in KL and so we traveled back on first day of CNY to Penang. We go back in two cars as my brother has his own plans when we were up North. Halfway through, that car's air con pulley came off again! ON HIGHWAY! So they stopped at the nearest RnR to have sister in law and their two daughters switched over to dad's car, while I volunteered to sit in his car because I wanted to chat with my brother along the way.

Things were alright as my brother shared with me his life experiences and plans. So along the way, my brother has been talking most of the time and being my brother, he also questioned me some stuff which I feel intimidated to answer like "What is your goal of life?". In fact, I really don't know. He himself has been starting some small business as side income and even my elder brother indirectly is doing it too. But here I am, writing blog.

It was a nice chat since I rarely talk to him. I've always see this brother as my role model. So every time when I wanted to talk to him, I hesitated as I feel I'm not good enough to prove to him that I am as good. The fact that he rarely come back to KL also contributes to the less talk factor.

My brother was sweating all the way, while I..... still feel chilly from the wind from outside the window. Regardless, we reach our destination safely.

That night, we had a little pot luck at my cousin's place, chit chat and some bonding between my uncles and aunts with my dad after so long.

Here's us. :)

And there's Tasha sitting close to my cousin-niece. Look at the brother of her, got isolated as the two became best sisters. There was once, the both of them were inside playing and the door was closed. Her brother knocked and said "Do you want to build a snow man?" But no response. Poor boy. Hahaha. I had a good laugh on that one.

Regardless, I hope the bonding of the family stays strong and that we're able to meet up like this every year and the generations to come can be close like this too!