Marriage life

I had this for draft and I have forgotten what I want to write about.
Well, since I have this reopened, I'll just write about what I think in general about marriage life with a little experience of my own.

For you people who thinks marriage is big word. Well, you're not entirely wrong.

Why?

A simple word marriage made up many different perspectives. Marriage is a commitment. It's a responsibility. It's a forever love-bonding with your soulmate, your lifetime partner. It's a legal union between two people as partners in a personal relationship. Now, you see, one word comprises so many perspectives. Isn't that overwhelming?

Many have the perception that marriage is just something that bonds 2 person together legally, you're not wrong. You're partially correct. There are more to that. It takes time and tolerance and both needed to support each other and that what makes a marriage lasts longer.

I wouldn't say this is a 100% fool-proof to maintain a marriage but here are 7 important ingredients to a happy marriage:

1. Trust

Indeed. Trust plays very very important role. When trust is no longer there, the relationship will crack. You gotta have faith in your partner. Otherwise, just maybe you should hold on to the marriage until you can trust your life to him/her? That's because when marriage happens, your life is not just your own. You'll have responsibility towards each other, your family and your kids.

2. Honesty

This is important. As husband and wife, honesty is what keeps the trust strong. "A little white lie doesn't hurt". So you thought. But slowly, this may become a habit and what if the little white lie that you think doesn't hurt actually meant a lot to your partner? Unless the white lie is for sweet birthday or anniversary surprises. Then I'm sure this white lie is compensated for.

3. Tolerance

Some may say, "You should accept all his/her weaknesses as it is if you love him/her". Yes, you could. Self sacrificing is indeed very noble. But in a relationship, it's like clapping hands. It takes both hands to make the clapping sound. If you know your partner is tolerating your weaknesses, improve yourself. Or if you know that's your weakness, don't shove it away and give excuses about it. Do something about it. It's just like working. Improve yourself over time. Wise words, "Patience has its limit".

4. Love

Needless to say, always always love your partner. When you think you've fall out of love. Think again why you both fall in love at the first place. What do you see in him/her? My ex-colleague used to tell me that Valentine's day shouldn't only happens on Valentine's day. It should happen on every day. Not to say you should buy gifts or do special event every day. But just spend quality time together. There's no need for occasion to shower your partner with gifts and love. You don't have to follow the event calendar that is set by public.

5. Communication

With the technology era, communication has become so easy. Just texting each other is a form of communication. Sure. But face to face communication is still the best. With this, you can see each other's expression, appreciate each other's presence and feel each other physically. Communication is no doubt one way to bring each other closer, well, that should be how the both of you started off right? Communicating, get to know each other. I don't see why that should not continue everyday.

6. Expressing your love

With point 4 and 5 combine, this can also strengthen your relationship. Expressing your love. Simple kiss on the cheek, lips or even saying "I love you" to your partner every now and then shows that you appreciate your relationship and are happy to be with each other. A simple gesture to treat your partner to a nice meal or simple home cook or gifts are also ways to express your love. Someone once told me that courtship should not end when the both of you have become a couple (boyfriend/girlfriend status), it should always be continued. You shouldn't take for granted with the thought that you both are married, we even have kids already, we're old, why do we still need to do this? Isn't it exciting to reminisce on the courtship and go through that again? It's such a sweet moment.

7. Quality time

In this modern days, both men and women are at work. Considering the travel time to work and home, you're spending almost 12 hours out of the house, not seeing each other (if you're not working in the same company/department). Hence, quality time is very important. Ever played The Sims? Notice the relationship bar with the partner reduces over time? Same with the real life Sims (You). Spending quality time together just the both of you makes you cherish the time both of you are together. Kids? Well, sometimes you may need help for alone time with your partner. Get help from your mother, mother in law, sister, brother, nanny, anyone you trust who can help you with them! Just a few hours away like walk in the park, date at the shopping mall, catch a movie together, or a dinner date.To be honest, you don't even have the remaining 12 hours for each other anyway. What about sleeping? You only have few hours to really spend time with each other each day. So it's important to be able to cherish the moment.



What about my own marriage life?

Well, I wouldn't say it's perfect. It's less than a year since we're both legally and officially got married and move in together. I would say there are may other prospective causes that stress the marriage but both my husband and I are coping with it. Finding solutions to make it better. Now, with little one coming into our lives, we definitely need to work hard together as husband and wife to cope with this stress. Hopefully everything will turns out great.